New Year

New Year:

   Happy New Year!  Every year I go to Shul (Temple) and pray.  In the past I have prayed for my friends and family members for them to have a happy and healthy year.  This year getting to Shul meant more to me than in the past.  I had Chemo on Monday and knew that Wednesday and Thursday were going to be my worst days.  On Wednesday, I ran around getting all of my errands done.  I picked up Challah, pain meds, food that we ordered, and necessities from good old ShopRite.  It was totally exhausting and once I made it back in my house, all I wanted to do was go upstairs and crawl into my bed.  However, I still had so much more to do before Rosh Hashana started.  I had to organize all of the food and put things away before Rosh Hashana started.  Around 4:00 on Wednesday, I had hit my wall and needed to just sit down.  Unfortunately that is impossible when you have three young children. Everyone knows that around 4:00 the children turn wild. 

    At the end of the day everything got done and put away.  We had a nice holiday meal.  I was able to make it to Shul for both days of Rosh Hashana and even on Shabbos. I even took pain medicine so that I could get some sleep (it worked a little bit).  It was very important for me to make it to Shul this year.   More than in the years past, I needed to pray for my health as well as for my friends and family members.

     On the first day, after I finally got the correct book in my hands and sat down I started to pray as I have in the past. I probably had more passion this year than I have had in the past. Not as much energy but more passion and heart.  I know that at times the words were fuzzy (even the English).  I just sat there and thought of all the things that I would like to happen this year.  I asked for my entire family to only see happiness this year.  I asked for my family to be healthy.  I asked for my grandma to have a pain-free end of life experience.  I asked for my children to have a “normal” year.  I asked that my recovery from surgery goes smoothly.  The Chemo has not been a fun experience but I know I can handle it. I know what to expect and can count the hours until the pain subsides.  I have even forgotten the “churning stomach” that I had during the first four rounds.  The surgery though freaks me out to no end. I know that I will be in the hospital for a few days.  I hated not being in my house after I gave birth to the children.  I know that I will have “drains” after surgery.  That word has joined my list of words I don’t like to hear.  I know that when I get home I will not be able to do all the things that I can do now.  We all know that I am OCD and need to do things.  I have been better with certain things.  I told Stephen, “you know I am in a lot of pain when I let the playroom look like “that” for more than two days.” (It is still like “that” but I will tackle it once Shua goes to bed).  I did spend some of my time in Shul being thankful.  I have so much to be grateful for and thankful for.  I am very thankful for all the people that have helped and continue to help take care of my family. I have such a strong support system that I know I will be just fine.  I am thankful for my three beautiful children that keep me going day in and day out.  They make it so there is no time for self-pity or giving up.  I am so thankful for Stephen.  He has been so amazing during my journey.  I might just have to promote him to “master diaper changer.”  He has been there to wash the dishes when I just can’t get to them.  He has folded more laundry than usual. He has filled in my blanks when I can’t think of what I want to say. He gets up numerous times a night to help Shua go back to sleep.  Instead of splitting the time of who gets up really early to take care of Shua, he just gets up and lets me stay in bed.  Having Stephen, Ruthie, Elisheva, and Shua by my side has really helped me have an enjoyable Rosh Hashana.  It was filled with severe joint pain but there was so much laughter, smiles, hugs, and happiness to help hide the pain.  Just taking it one day at a time….

"May you be inscribed and sealed for a good year"

P.S. I think my best laugh was when Stephen cut into his “potato” kugel and started to freak out.  At first I thought it was not cooked but when I saw the green aka broccoli bits I realized what all the drama was about.  He was not laughing but I sure was J

This video clip is from my brother Joey in California.  He shared it with me after my last post. Remember my Friends video had Rachel asking for another pair of pants for Ross while they were on the plane. The clip is a little silly but it made me laugh and laughter is the best medicine.