Two years cancer free

Posted one day early...

         Today marks two years cancer free.  I feel like this day snuck up on me.  I was thinking about it the other day. No way, two years already?  I feel as if I have taken my life back. I know that I have been busy because I have not blogged in a long time.  I am not doing chemo or recovering from a surgery which forces me to just sit on my couch for hours on end.  I have been up and moving.  Really moving!  I have logged so many miles these past few months that I can’t remember a time when I was not running. Since I have taken my life back I have done a bunch of cool things.  I jumped into the Atlantic in January with snow on the ground. Thanks Browns for getting me to do this crazy experience.  Thanks to my cousin Matt for doing it with me. I have run two races with my sister-in-law and best friend Devorah.  We ran to help raise money for breast cancer research.  We also ran from Brooklyn to Ground Zero to help raise money for first responders.  I also got the chance to race with my dear friends Margaret and Adele.  What an experience we all shared that day. Devorah and I are still figuring out our next run and who will be raising money to help. 

Just this past July, I flew with all my children by myself to California and spent a month there.  It was an amazing month.  Shua plays “let’s pack our bags and go on the airplane to California” on a regular basis.  Just this past Friday, I caught him packing his bag.  It was quite a sight to see because all he had in his bag was all of his socks.  That would have made for an interesting trip.

I have switched grades and taken on a whole new curriculum by choice. So many people said I was crazy for doing this.  I admit it is hard with all of the other stuff that has been piled on us this year, however, I am loving every minute of it!  I couldn’t have done it without my colleagues Kathy and Leah.  They have helped out in so many ways.  It has been easy adjusting to the 6^th grade way with the help of my teammate Jen.  She is there to remind me that I am in 6^th grade which is an entirely different world than 7^th grade was.

It has been a while but I felt that I should send my fan club an update.  I felt that you should know that I am doing well, really well. I am loving life and enjoying every minute! Here are few pictures.

This is a picture from my first month being cancer free

Red, White, and Blue from this past July

From my trip to Chelmsford, Mass.  All Smiles!!


 

Giving my kids a summer that they will never forget!

 

Had to include a blooper

Big Apple Circus (Shua's first trip on a bus and subway to NYC, with no stroller)

Riding the train with my side kick!  Again, all smiles!

Thanksgiving/Hanukah 2013

 Here is to another healthy cancer free year!!!!

Grandma

Grandma

 

A year ago today my grandmother passed away.  I knew that she was no longer with us when Stephen’s phone rang so late at night.  I knew that my mom called him to break the news to me because I should have been sleeping and trying to recover from surgery.  Just a few days prior to her passing I was able to speak with her for a few minutes.  I got home from one of my many surgeries and was able to speak with my grandmother for a few seconds. I knew that she was just hanging on to make sure that I was ok. 

This week has been rough.  All week long when I looked at my calendar to see what events were occurring this week, I saw that Friday was July 19^th.  I thought about my grandmother more than normal this past week.  I also felt her more than normal.  It seemed that beautiful monarch butterflies were everywhere this week.  I saw them as I drove the girls to gymnastics camp.  I saw them flutter by as I washed the dinner dishes.  I saw them as I went outside to put garbage by the curb.  There seemed to be beautiful butterflies everywhere.  Every time I saw one, I thought of my grandmother.  Every time I thought of my grandmother, I smiled.  I thought back to some of my favorite moments with her.  Even though a year has gone by I feel as if I only spoke with her yesterday. I feel as if we just talked about if she went for a walk or what was happening on her stories.  Grandma I miss you greatly and love you dearly.

 

33, 34, 35

33, 34, 35

Year 33 overall stunk. 

Shortly after turning 33, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  Shortly after turning 33 my life was flipped upside down. (who just started signing Fresh Prince?) I got through year 33 with a lot of hard work and a lot of support from so many different people. 

Year 34 came and things were ok.  I had another surgery to work through.  Then things took a turn for the worse when I lost my grandma.  This was definitely a traumatic event for year 34.  Honestly, I couldn’t wait for year 33 to be over and 34 was a close second.  After my grandma passed away, I couldn’t wait for the year to be over as well.  I miss her terribly. Not a day goes by that I don’t want to call her to see how her day was or to tell her something that happened to me.

 So here we are coming upon year 35.  Year 35 has no choice but to be a great year.   I truly try to live every day to its fullest.  I try and make sure I get in all the time I can with my kids. I try and call my loved ones more often (or email). I make sure that I am not just going through the routine of life but actually living life.  It is so important to actually live life and enjoy every day.  I have decided to make a change this coming school year.  I am going to switch to 6^th grade.  I have taught 7^th grade history for 13 years. I decided that sometimes change is good and now would be a great time for change. Of course I am nervous about an entire new routine and curriculum.  However, I have way more excitement than nerves. I just know that year 35 is going to be awesome!

This summer is already jam packed with activities and visits.  Our first stop will be good old WML beach.  Then we take a trip to PA to visit with the Hedges and celebrate Darian’s birthday!  Next, we will head up to Boston to visit with the Arringtons.  Our trip to Boston is way overdue.  I am looking forward to watching Shua play with Matthew and Zachary.  The girls will go to gymnastics camp for a week.  They are very much looking forward to this.  Our biggest adventure this summer will be a trip to California.  I vowed the last time I flew with a toddler that I would not fly with a child under two.  Whew, good thing Shua just turned three.  We are all looking forward to spending time with my brother and one of my best friends.  Shua can’t wait to see Amitai and play with his toys.  The girls can’t wait to do gymnastics with their cousins and build Legos together. Stephen can’t wait to eat broccoli with Joe.  We are all looking forward to some California sunshine, fresh fruits, and happy cousin time.

Well, today I turned 35 and it was a fabulous day.  I slept a little later than normal.  I got to hang out with the kids in pj’s for a while.  I got some awesome presents from everyone. 

We celebrated Father's Day

 

We did an arts and crafts project.   

We played fun games.  

 We ate pizza and had our traditional Carvel ice cream cake. 

 It was a great day spent with family.  It was a great day watching everyone smiling and enjoying themselves.  It was a great day because I was a part of the action and not sitting on the side lines.  364 more awesome days of year 35.  This year is going to ROCK!  I just know it!

Shua

Shua

My son turns three today.  This day causes so much emotion for me.  To start with, I truly didn’t believe the doctor when she said “it is a boy.”  Then two years ago my life changed around Shua’s birthday.  We had just thrown him a birthday party.  It was a fantastic party.  We celebrated our baby turning one.  There was cake, balloons, and smiles all around.  A few days later is when I felt the mass.  I knew something was not right.  I went through the steps of making the appropriate doctor appointments.  We all know what happened from there.  Last year we celebrated Shua’s 2^nd birthday.  It was still very hard for me to chase Shua and keep up with him.  This year though things are different.  We have been building up to Shua’s third birthday for months.  His sisters have taught him that his birthday is June 4^th.  They have taught him that he will be turning three on this day. Shua knows that he will get cake on his birthday.  He has practiced singing Happy Birthday to himself. Of course today, I think “this was around the time all hell broke loose.  This is the time when my world started to crumble.”  However, over the past couple months; I have watched my baby grow up so much. I have watched him learn new things. I have watched his vocabulary soar. I have watched him express his thoughts and feelings.  Birthdays are supposed to be fun and filled with smiles.  I am sure that the butterfly feeling that exists when it is Shua’s birthday will fade with time.  Over time I will no longer associate Shua’s birthday with feeling the mass. It will only be a time for balloons, cake and smiles for everyone.

Here are a few pictures of Shua to make you smile.  Ok there are a lot but I love to take pictures :)

 Notice the Smurfs in his "pocket" (shoved in his pants)

Can you find him?

Laying on a friend

ET phone home

Sledding

flying like superman

vacuuming in ladybug rain boots

sleeping with a baseball hat (sorry it is fuzzy)

making bubble with his friend Mater

At the TB Zoo

planting with Grandma

Loving his purple plant

Building :)

watering Grandma's new tree

Having a tea party

Having a ride with Elisheva

Eating cake with cousins

Getting ready for a swim!

It was very hard to go through what I went through with a young baby to take care of.  Shua was so little when it all started.  He didn't understand what was happening.  I didn't even understand what was happening. There were so many other people taking care of him.  I wasn't the mother I wanted to be for him.  I missed out on so much of his baby experiences.  I felt so guilty that I couldn't take him places and play with him like I really wanted to.  He got away with a lot because I was not about to control him or reprimand him when he did something wrong.  Two years later and I am doing all those things that I wanted to do with him.  We read books together.  We play playdoh together.  We go to the park and take rides on the train at the zoo.  We plant plants together and water them.  Sometimes we get more wet than the plants but that is ok because we are spending time together.  Love my Shua!