CMS

CMS:

    

 This entry is for all my colleagues who will return to my home away from home tomorrow.  This entry is also for all of my friends who have already started teaching or will begin within the next few days.

    I have been teaching for a while. This will be the 12^th September at the same school.  I went to this school as a 7^th and 8^th grader. When I first started teaching, I was working for the principal that was my principal as a student.  I was also working with teachers that were my teachers.  It took me a while to call them by their first names.  These teachers were mentors to me and have been great friends over the years.

     The year that I went into CMS as a 7^th grader, the sixth grades came too.  I was never the youngest in the school.  I made so many great friends at CMS.  Some of the closest friends I have today, I met at CMS.  I also remember someone stealing my jean shorts while I was at gym.  Middle school is a hard time for any kid.  I truly believe that middle school is the roughest time to be a student/kid.  I think that is one reason why I love teaching that age.  I originally thought I was going to teach the little kids. I student taught second grade. I applied to Rockaway Twp. Schools to teach but was planning on the little ones.  However, once I started with middle school, there was no way I could imagine myself in any other grade.   There have been so many students over the years.  So many of them have touched my heart and changed me as a teacher.  I still keep in touch with some of the students from my first year teaching.  What a remarkable group of children.  I was lucky that year, I taught an elective that every seventh grader had to take. I got to teach every 7^th grader that year. Again, what a remarkable group of children they were.

  Well tomorrow is September 1^st and all of my colleagues will be starting the 2011 school year.  Unfortunately, I will not be there with them this year.  I know that some teachers sometimes moan about starting up the school year again.  However, for me, I love the start of the year. I love the new faces and the eagerness to learn. I love the fall time with the leaves turning color. I love watching the students grow from September to June.  Last year, I was out for maternity leave for the start of the school year. Starting in November is not like starting in September.  When my doctors told me there was no way I could teach while going through chemo, I was truly heartbroken.  In my usual Rachel stubbornness, I argued and pleaded my cause.  I was not successful.  I know that I will not be there for the student’s first day but I do know that I will probably still have my nervous butterflies that I get every year.  I will count on my teammate Lee Ann to take tons of pictures that I will feel like I was there to experience it all.  I will count on my teammate George to frighten the children so that they love me when I return.

    I spent some of my couch time (in between the sweeping and mopping) looking up good quotes to end this entry with.  I do hope they inspire all of my teacher friends near and far to have a great year!

Quotes:

“Tell me and I forget.  Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.”—Benjamin Franklin. 

“It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge.” –Albert Einstein

“A hundred years from now, it will not matter what kind of car I drove, what kind of house I lived in, how much money I had in the bank…but the world may be a better place because I made a difference in the life of a child.” –Forest Witcraft

I have added this little video that really makes me smile for some reason. We all know that I love Target.  I get super excited when the teacher yells at the hamster.  I will miss teaching about Lewis and Clark this year. By the way....I hate glitter!

Hurricanes

Hurricanes:

   I remember three distinct hurricanes in my life time that hit New Jersey and affected my life.

Hurricane Gloria (85)

      What I remember about Hurricane Gloria is my two older brothers fake fighting with fallen tree limbs, outside, during the storm.  Yeah, I know one is a doctor and the other is a rocket scientist….I guess they weren’t always the smart boys that we have grown to know and love…..  Sorry boys, I hope there are no hard feelings, remember I do have Cancer.  I imagine my oldest brother was supposed to watch us while my parents were working.  I have no idea what my little brother was doing at the time. He was only three.  I am also sure that I did get my own punishment (from my brothers) because I am sure I ratted them out for going out during the hurricane.  After all, they taught us in school to stay in a safe location during a hurricane.

Hurricane Floyd (1999)

  I was in college during this hurricane.  What I remember most about Floyd was all the rain.  It was intense and non-stop.  The governor did not declare it a state of emergency so classes were not cancelled.  I remember watching out the window and seeing members of the swim team walking to class in speedos, swim caps, and flippers.  Of course thinking about all the water during Floyd brought me to another funny story.  This story involved a French exchange student, take out chicken wings, a broken radiator, and three flights of wet slippery stairs.  I will share that story in a future blog.

Hurricane Irene (current day 2011)

  The day started off just great.  I had a hard time falling asleep due to the noisy wind and rain. I was worried so I clock watched. I remember seeing 3:30 and then drifting off to sleep.  The girls woke up around 4:00 because of the noise and rain hitting the windows. I told them that it was still very early and we all should be sleeping. I closed their door and prayed they did not wake up their brother.  I am pretty sure I fell back asleep only to be woken up by Stephen telling me that we lost power.  Thank you Irene and Thank you Stephen.  I was fortunate to get a little snooze in when Shua went in for his nap.  The best part of my nap was Elisheva waking me up “Ruthie is reading her book, Daddy is reading his book, and I am not.”  Me: “Elisheva, I was sleeping but now I am not.”

I will say Rabbi Zwickler you have an awesome community to be the rabbi of.  So many people helped us out during these days without power.  We were able to save most of our food in other people’s houses.  We were able to do “milk runs” for Shua to keep him properly fed.  We had a lovely dinner prepared for us and it was nice to eat a yummy hot home cooked meal. We heard about other people (don’t want to mention anyone that doesn’t want to be publicly mentioned) who hooked up extension cords to help pump out fellow friends. What an awesome feeling to be a part of such a helpful, kind, and caring community.

I am sure Stephen and I would have been fine without power for a few days.  When  you have kids it gets a little trickier.  Here are some highlights:

    **Shua throwing up in his bed and not being able to truly clean his smelly sheets.

    **Elisheva breaking her bed rail and falling out of bed in the middle of the night due to the total blackness.  (darkening shades really do work).  Needless to say from that point on she slept with her flashlight on and in her hand.

    **Stephen packing up freezer food to put in someone else’s house and packing up my jelly beans instead of meatballs.  Stephen: “It was really dark and hard to see.”

   **And just when you think things are quiet again.  Beep—beep---beep the fire alarms start to go off due to the low battery.  I definitely had Phoebe like thoughts regarding the fire alarms.  If I could have reached them, they would be in my backyard neighbor’s yard…..beeping away.

  **PSE&G man stating “So I am getting the feeling that this block does not have power…” (after checking with about 7 houses on the street)

Treatment update:

Of course I couldn’t just blog about hurricanes.  I have had my last round of the AC part of the Chemo treatment.  I was very proud of myself for getting to my appointment without having to take a Xanax to calm myself.  Usually the morning of I start to panic a little bit about going to be stabbed and have poison poured into my body.  However, this past Monday, I just didn’t take one and it turned out ok. My oncologist said I look good. However, that made me nervous.  Is the Chemo not working?  Should I be looking good with poison in my body?  She reassured me that some people can tolerate it better than other.  I do hope that is the case.  I have met my halfway mark of Chemotherapy!   Still have a long way to go, but in my mind I really needed to get the four AC doses over with.

Quote: Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.--- Mark Twain

Unexpected People

Unexpected People:

    This blog entry is about people.  It will tell you more about me and who I am as a person.  It will also tell you about different people that have affected my life since diagnosis.  There are many people I want to write about.  I will discuss some of them in this entry and others will be mentioned in the near future. As a disclaimer Stephen has already told me that this post is disjointed.

    The other day I broke the isolation rules and took the girls to a park.  I was hoping to get out in the fresh air.  Sitting inside on the couch all day gets rather boring.  I was good, I sanitized every time I touched something.  Anytime someone came near me, I was quick to leave.  We didn’t stay long because it was tiring, but it was nice to be out in the fresh air.  The girls had fun running around and playing on the swings.  It was so cool to see Elisheva lift herself up on the swing.  Her big sister Ruthie gave her a few pushes and then they were both off and swinging.  I was glad that I could see them do these fun activities.  Sometimes you do what you gotta do to get through the day.  

      Some of you know about my relationship with my Grandma. For those of you who don’t, here is a little peak into our relationship. She lives in Kentucky but that does not stop me from being very close with her.  As a child we would drive down to Kentucky to spend time with her.  Some of my greatest memories come from Kentucky.  I loved climbing trees with my cousins or doing the same Peanuts puzzle over and over again.  I loved swinging on her rail and doing flips even though I was hollered at several times not to do it.  Thinking back, I was pretty stupid because it was very dangerous and I could have seriously hurt myself.  As I got older, I wrote her letters and called her frequently.  I got into the habit of calling her every other night to say hi and check in with her.  When I was in college, I remember calling her when I found a particular state quarter (we both collected them and she always found the newest state first).  I remember my friend saying “you are calling your grandma in the middle of the afternoon to tell her you found a state quarter?”  Yet, it seemed so normal to me at the time.  After I got married, we continued to take our yearly car ride down to Kentucky to spend time with my grandmother.  After I was diagnosed, I found it very hard to call her.  I didn’t have the courage to call her and tell her that I was sick.  I knew that I would never be able to get the words out without hysterically crying….so I just didn’t call for a while. Since diagnosis my grandma has been unbelievable.  She just had her 89^th birthday.  She has sent me so many cards that I have lost count.  Not only does she send me cards but she finds inspirational quotes, poems and sayings to send to me.   Her last card contained the poem by Edgar Guest which is titled “Things Work Out.”  She even sent me a four leaf clover that she had found many years ago to give me good luck and strength to beat the cancer.  I am not sure if she realizes it but her cards and letters have really helped me through the past few months of treatment.   For those of you who are wondering, I have found my voice to call my grandmother again.  I have not gotten back into my every other day call but I am sure that will happen again real soon.  Thank you Grandma!

      Adele without even realizing it has put me in contact with many different people who have affected the way I fight this battle.  I am not sure if everyone is aware of the fund that Adele set up to help me take care of my family during this unexpected journey.  Without telling me she went to the bank and set up an account.  I was really shocked at first when she told me.  As the days went on people started contacting her.  I got cards and letters from people near and far.  I was so surprised with some of the letters and the amount of money that people sent.  People that I have not seen or spoken to in years opened up their hearts and their wallets.  People that I do not know personally (friend of a friend) sent money.  Former students sent money.  Former student’s relatives sent money.  Reading some of the message brought tears to my eyes.  No lie, the money is important and very, very, helpful----but those kind words and kind thoughts were what really got me through those first few rounds of Chemo.  Being diagnosed with Breast Cancer was a lot to process.  I was really mad and angry when I first heard the news.  Of course, I realized that it was not going to just go away and I had to deal with it.  Getting a daily text from Adele saying “I got a card today from….and another one from….” really helped me see light on those dark days.  Those personal messages that were sent were life altering. I am sure the people that wrote those few words didn’t realize how much it has affected me during this time.

      I had to remove myself from Facebook for a while.  It was too depressing for me to see my friends having a blast on vacation or at the beach.  I was stuck on the couch begging my stomach to stop churning while others were enjoying life.  I admit it, I was jealous of their fun and mad at my situation.  Just as there are dark days for me, there are also awesome days.  One day Adele ran into a woman. Not too long ago, this woman was in a similar situation as I am currently in.  This woman who I have never met before gave Adele a donation.  After she told me of her encounter with this amazing woman and the donation, I got butterflies in my stomach.  Someone who I do not know and have never met made it a point to help me.  Knowing that there are people out there that are going out of their way to help me get through this journey helps me push those depressing thoughts aside.   It makes the light at the end of this very long tunnel brighter and seem just a little bit closer.

  Rabbi Zwickler….You will be in my next entry.  Writing this to see if you are paying attention. 

Quotes:  Only a few people will truly understand why I put this quote at the end of this blog post.  It is my way of personally saying Thank You for pushing me to stay positive and helping me make it through Round 3.

“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.”---Abraham Lincoln

As for the video clip….this blog entry just reminded me of this song from my childhood.  I hope you laugh at the silly jokes.

Hunger

Hunger:

 I know what happens the days after Chemotherapy. I have been through this twice before.  However, each time it hits just a little harder.  I get this hungry feeling that can’t be filled.  They say don’t go food shopping when you are hungry.  Well, I did!  Elisheva and I strolled down the aisles of good old Shoprite.  (I don’t miss that place).  I even went down the “no-no aisles” such as the potato chip aisle and the cookie aisle.  Still it was a no go.  I didn’t see anything that my tummy craved.  Not too proud of what we came home with. 

   

 When I got home, I was a rebel and ate a pear. I am not supposed to have fresh fruits and vegetables.  This has been very hard for me, especially since it is summer time and fresh yummy fruit is everywhere.  I broke down and ate a pear. I didn’t even peal it.  Did it do the trick?  Not really, but it did get me a somewhat full feeling.  You would think that I would have lost 15 pounds by now.  Ha!  Not sure if it is all the liquid I drink or all the ice cream I am eating.

  I have come to realize that I need to eat when the hungry feeling comes.  Eat anything to make my stomach feel full.  It does relieve some of the hunger pains.  Of course what I eat doesn’t taste like I want it to taste like.  I just eat to make that feeling go away.  I love chocolate!  And that doesn’t taste like chocolate any more.  I love cheese and cheese has no flavor to me anymore. Of course I know that it is only temporary and in a few days the taste buds will be back. Just in time for the next round when they will disappear again.

  For those who were curious about my shopping cart.  It contained, one Elisheva, two tubs of ice cream, sprinkles, chocolate syrup, magic shell, (Ruthie is having a birthday play date and making sundays….I couldn’t physically throw her a party this year and she was so understanding), plums (yes I ate one when I got home), peaches, bananas, pasta, a chocolate bar, a birthday card for Ruthie, and a surprise for Nurse Kimmie.

I have a feeling that after Chemo and surgery I will need to join weight watchers or something.

"Soup and Salad" Joey Tribbiani