Race Day:
I have sat down to write this blog entry several
times. Each time I wrote a paragraph,
re-read it and then erased it and tried to start again. Some nights I started the computer and loaded
my blog entries and then just shut down the computer because I couldn’t put
into words my feelings or thoughts.
A few weeks ago I had to take a bone density test. The medicine that I take lowers my bone density
3-5% each year. A few days prior I
called to schedule this test. This is
how the conversation went.
Me: “hi, I need to schedule a bone density test.”
Very Kind Lady: “referring doctor”
Me: “Dr. “
Very Kind Lady: “so this is reference to?”
Me “breast cancer”
Very Kind Lady: “ok, so have you had chemo yet?”
Me “I have had Chemo, Bilateral mastectomy and radiation”
Very Kind Lady: “are you still menstruating?”
Me: “I had my ovaries removed two weeks ago.”
Very Kind Lady: “hmmmmm…..well”
Me: “I know, I am 33 and I am a mess.”
Very Kind Lady: “Oh hon, you are not a mess you are
alive and that is all that matters”
I sat at my desk during my lunch time and almost started
to cry. This woman was absolutely right,
I am alive and that is all that matters.
Today, I went to my first Breast Cancer Walk. Usually in May we do a walk for one of my
former students who has juvenile arthritis.
This year though I was out there walking for myself. It was a very emotional day. My fellow warrior Elisa had a little setback
and was not able to walk today. Honestly
that was really hard on me. We were
diagnosed within a few weeks of one another.
We did Chemo at the same time and had surgeries one month a part. This whole journey has been hard but having
Elisa by my side has helped me. She is
one person that I can text, call or email who I know really gets it. She really understands my feelings and
understands the pain and exhaustion.
Thankfully, my friend Cheryl was there to walk with me. If she wasn’t there I am not sure I could
have done it today. I made Cheryl walk
from booth to booth with me and fill up a bag for Elisa. Every time a person at a booth said “that is
only for survivors,” I had to explain that Elisa was here with us even though
she couldn’t physically be here due to doctor’s orders. Next year Elisa will be there walking with
Cheryl and myself.
my fellow warrior Elisa with her well deserved medal for being a survivor
Next year, I will be running this race. I know that I still have two more surgeries
to go before I am done for a while. However, it is a goal that I have set for
myself. I do hope that some of my runner
friends will join me in this run next year.
Your goal of course will be to get me across the finish line in a decent
time. Scott, here is your opportunity to organize a run with all of your
siblings.
