Taxol #1

Taxol #1

     This past Monday I had my first infusion of Taxol.  I was told that it would be a long infusion.  Luckily my awesome cousin Lindsey came with me to help pass the time.  We watched two movies (Enchanted and Despicable Me) and two Friends episodes.  Honestly I don’t remember much of what we watched but I do remember laughing. I was definitely nervous at first but once I was stabbed and hooked up, my nerves calmed down.  It also could be that they gave me a ton of Benadryl that made me very, very, very sleepy.  I came home to an awesome package from my best “snail mail” sender, Erica.  The shirt was so amazing that it totally made me forget that I just poured a ton of poison into my body.   

Monday night was not too bad.  On Tuesday, I felt great. I was on top of the world!  This Taxol is not so bad….  On Tuesday night, I did get some upsetting news about my Grandmother which emotionally turned my world upside down. This is really too personal for me to discuss at this time.  As the night went on, I noticed that my body was starting to ache a little.  Wednesday morning came and BAM, I could barely move.  When my oncologist told me that I would get “severe joint pain” for 24-48 hours, she was not lying.  At first it was all of my legs.  The pain was so intense even Ambien couldn’t put me to sleep.  I spent most of Wednesday in bed (with Elisheva next to me playing with her toys).  I spent most of Thursday in bed as well.  I did make myself get up on Thursday and walk around to keep my body moving.  Yes, I cleaned the playroom because it forced me to move around. And we all know I feel so much better when all the toys are in the right place.  As Thursday went on, I felt as if the pain was starting to leave my body. It was not my entire leg, just my knees and anything below my knees. I am not lying when I say that even my toes hurt.  My toes hurt like crazy.  Even though I was in a lot of pain, the girls made me smile with “here comes turtle.”  I really thought I was moving at a normal pace….apparently I was not.

     This whole blog entry is not to complain about the pain or to make you feel sorry for me. That was not my goal.  My goal was to let you know that I am ok and that I made it through Taxol #1.  Not only did I make it through the pain but I did it without taking Percoset (which causes me to hallucinate).  Wednesday, I knew that I was going to need help in the evening before Stephen got home.  My first clue was that I could barely move.  Lindsey and her brother Marc came over and really helped me out.  Even though we did a lot of sitting around, it was great to know that someone was there to help me with Shua.  Marc and Shua had a nice playdate. 

Lindsey had a lovely time feeding (literally feeding) my daughters.  I am very grateful to have such wonderful family members who have seemed to always show up in my time of need.  Friday, I was successful in getting to Target and walking the aisles (at a turtle’s pace).  Saturday I made it to Shul and even went for a walk with my friend Cheryl.  Sunday I was able to walk down the stairs without flinching from knee pain. It was a long, painful and emotional week, but I made it through it.  Of course all the little things that people did helped me.  Elisheva “did the doctor say you could watch tv?”  Ruthie “pick up the pace turtle, I don’t have all day.” Erica “small package will be waiting for you when you get home from chemo.”  Emily sent her son Max out to Ruthie’s bus stop with two delicious muffins on chemo day.  Elisa sending me “Joey doesn’t share food” video clips which really made me laugh.  Elisa sending me funny shirts that make me stare cancer in the face and laugh because I will win.  Watching Lindsey feed Elisheva her chicken and watching Marc chase after Shua.  Adele dropping off a box of Dora toys from a colleague for my kids. Thank you Lila and your daughter for your generosity. Alex playing with Elisheva so I could go to Shul and feel like it was an ordinary Sabbath. Walking with my friend Cheryl like we used to do before I was diagnosed and talking about just about anything.  Getting a text from my brother with a picture of a shirt with a paper attached that says: “Race for the cure, in celebration of Rachel Isler.”   Seeing Shua play with Lenn and watching Shua sit in Blu’s cage.  Blu is Lenn’s dog. I very often refer to Shua as my little puppy.  He eats my flip flops, cleans up the floor by eating everything he finds, runs to the door when he hears the word walk, and chews on everything.  My google chats with my brother Aaron. Getting my weekly Rabbi email "how are you doing?" One of these days Rabbi,  you will learn that I prefer to say "How ya doin?" Lastly, but most importantly, hearing my grandmother’s voice and being able for her to hear my voice.   It is amazing how one little “I love you” can really change how you are feeling and how you will conquer the day.  It has been two months since I had my port surgery and my first dose of Chemo.  Two months, two months.….thank you to everyone that has helped me get this far.  One day at a time….

Quote:  Always in motion is the future. (and so is Shua) ---Yoda, Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back