Chemo Round 1: Chemo won. But anyone that knows me, knows that I don’t just give up at sports or games. I usually keep playing until I win and win big. When I was younger I started running cross country. I was not very good at first. It would take me forever to finish a race. I believe it was over a half hour the first race I ran. Sure enough I worked at and put my all into running. By my senior year I was down to 23:00 minutes for 3.1miles.
I ended up in the hospital one week and one day from my first Chemo treatment. I had a fever of 102. I am still waiting the results of my blood cultures to see if it is a bacterial infection or hopefully just a viral infection. Yesterday was a horrible day for me. I did not feel well and my legs were in extreme pain. I had really hit bottom. Sometimes you need to hit rock bottom to realize what needs to be done.
I told Stephen as we waited in the ER that Chemo won this round but I will win the next round and the following rounds. I will arm myself to fight and win this battle. I have admitted defeat and yesterday proved that I can’t do it all and that I do need help. I have arranged for a full time babysitter to help me care for the girls and for Shua. Shua by far is the hardest part of my day. He needs constant attention. He likes to be held (mostly by Stephen) or wants to sit in your lap on the floor. I just have not been able to do that with him. He is just like his sister Elisheva and has a very easy gag reflex. It is pretty normal for him to eat a meal and then gag and it all comes right back up. Yup, he did this to me yesterday. In a way it was a good thing because it sort of pushed me to realizing what needed to be done.
So moving forward, I will have help with the kids. I will allow others to do the cooking and the cleaning. I will rest and stay away from people to avoid catching another illness. One day at a time. One step at a time. Round Two (Monday August 1st), here I come and I will conquer this round!
Sounds like you have a great plan! Go Rachel! We are all thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way.
ReplyDeleteYou are giving your family the best by inviting help. It takes a strong person to ask for help. Want my boys to run circles around Shua to keep him entertained? They would be happy to!Get some rest and enjoy the babysitter.
ReplyDeleteOne of the most difficult things is to realize that you need help. Good to see that you have realized this early on. Now you can focus on getting well
ReplyDeleteI will continue to pray for you - Hang in there!