Nerves....

Nerves:

Well here we are….July 15^th.  I have known that my surgery was going to be on July 16^th since June.  In my mind, I have been telling myself “oh it is next month or oh it is in a few weeks.”  I finally hit the “it is next week.”  Even though it was Friday, I was still saying “next week.”  There were still so many things to be done to get myself prepared for the big day.  I am so excited to get the tissue expanders (aka hockey pucks) out of my body.  I am so excited but also so very nervous.  I am not sure what the recovery will be like. I am not sure how I will feel afterwards.  I have been training my children to be super independent this summer.  Ruthie has had the job of walking her brother down the stairs and getting him in his booster for breakfast.  She also has been getting him out of the chair and guiding him out of the kitchen.  She has really done an amazing job.  Both girls have helped me entertain Shua while I worked on organizing, cleaning and preparing the house for when I won’t feel up to doing much.  I pretty much slept very little last night. I finally fell asleep around 2:30 only to wake up freaking out about “did I do everything that I needed to do?” around 4:30.  I tried really hard to stay very busy today.  The busier I am the less time I have to think about tomorrow.  Today we took a family trip to the zoo.  It was very hot and humid but I believe everyone had a great time.  Then I watched Ruthie learn how to ride her bike by herself.  (Thanks Jason for helping us accomplish this task!)  Then Ruthie and I did some last minute errands.  Finally, it was back to the house to feed the children and cook dinner for Stephen and myself. 

I think I am all ready to go.  The laundry is done.  Fresh towels are put out for all our guests that will be helping us over the next few days.  Food is prepared.  Movies are all ready for the kids to watch.  Playroom is tidy and waiting for Shua to be a whirlwind in the room.  Notes are written for the girls. Clothes are set out for the kids (I will be leaving the house before they wake). Alarm clock has been set. Here we go…