Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Goodbye Grandma


Goodbye Grandma

For starters it has taken me a long time to get my thoughts down on paper.  I only really started to write my feelings once I read my brother’s blog about saying goodbye.  So thank you Scott for giving me that motivation to give a tribute to Grandma.



Routine:
Most people have some sort of night time routine.  For example: brush teeth, go to the bathroom and then hop into bed.  Or others might shower first and then go to the bathroom and hop in the bed (of course brushing teeth at some point).  My nighttime routine for the last so many years (post college days, during college I would call in the middle of the day) was to get all ready for bed, hop into bed and then call my grandma.  We didn’t always talk for a long time.  Sometimes I had to call her back because she needed to go to the bathroom or finish watching something on tv.  I loved when she would answer the phone “Hi Rachel” because she just knew it was me calling.  We talked about so many different things. When the soap opera “As the World Turns” was still on the air, we would always discuss the story line.  I was usually a few days behind because I couldn’t watch it every day.  In college I old schooled it and vcr taped it. More recently, I just taped the show by DVRing it.  When I visited with my grandma I could sit with her and watch “her stories” for hours.  It was always easy to get caught up on what had happened since my last viewing.  Of course we would always talk about the weather.  Calling my grandmother was the best weather report out there.  New Jersey usually got Kentucky’s weather the next day.  I would say 90% of the time it was accurate.  If it rained in Kentucky on Monday, then it rained in New Jersey on Tuesday.  I would tell her how the kids were doing or how my day was.  She would tell me if she put a piece in the puzzle in the library or all about the family of ducks that used to live in her complex.  Needless to say bedtime is the hardest time of day for me. I get all ready, hop into bed and then….cry.  I try and relax my mind, use the ipad, play a game and try and fall asleep….but it just doesn’t work.  The truth is I think about my grandmother and I miss her. I miss her a lot.  She was a wonderful person.




My grandmother was one the kindest, most caring individuals I knew.  She never judged you.  She called a spade a spade.  She was always making things for others.  I remember one summer she came to visit in New Jersey and we made cats out of yarn.  Aaron do you remember we made tons of cats!!!!  They were all over the house.  She would make little crafts for her friends.  She was always wanting and willing to teach you something.  I loved spending time with her and making things for others.  I have a love of games.  I get this love from my grandmother.   She has taught me so many different fun games to play.  I have passed on some of these games to my children.  I am so happy that they had an opportunity this past June to visit with my grandmother and play some games with her.  My grandmother was an amazing quilter.  She would say that she was not great but she has made so many beautiful quits over the years.  One summer I spent my time quilting with her.  It was great to be able to be a part of such a project.  She inspired me to make my own kids quilts (by hand).  I made Ruthie a little baby quilt.  It was cute but not practical once she got bigger.  So I was determined to make Elisheva a bigger size quit.  It was supposed to be finished before she turned three.  Well…it is still in the works and she is five. I need to sit down one of these days and finish the quilt so I can of course start another one for Shua.  I have learned so many different things from my grandmother that I will hold dear.




When I got sick I had a hard time telling my grandmother that I was sick. I am not sure why.  Maybe it was because I knew deep down that I would be ok and I didn’t want to worry her.  I know that my mom told her that I was sick.  Once my grandmother learned that I had cancer she was the best card sender of anyone I knew.  She sent me cards with little quotes or poems.  Then my grandma got sick (shortly after I was diagnosed) with pancreatic cancer.  You would think that she would stop sending cards.  Nope, not my grandma!  She continued to send cards with pick me up quotes and poems.  And I continued to call her at night before bed.  Sometimes I would call her during the day because I crashed so early when I was going through treatment.

I couldn’t fly down to visit my grandmother when she got sick.  I was very sad that I was unable to travel and see her.  They said that she did not have a long time to live.  She surprised us all.  Some people might think I am crazy but I know that she waited for me.  I didn’t want to tell her I was coming until it was close enough that we could count down the days.  During the middle of May, I told her I would be on my way as soon as school let out.  So on top of the end of the year stuff, papers to grade, grades to enter, room to clean, I was packing bags for Kentucky.  I had lists on top of lists. I had to make sure I had everything for the kids and myself.  (including ways to entertain Shua during a 14hr car ride.)  I sent my grandma cards with the countdown on it and called her and reminded her how many days until we got there. 

I am so thankful that I was able to see my grandmother one last time. I am so thankful that we got to play games together and that I even was able to learn a new game “toss up”.  I am thankful that I was able to watch her interact with my children.  I am thankful I was able to help her get something to eat and change her sheets for her. I am thankful that I was able to watch her ride around in Grace and have a great day when I knew she was in so much pain. I am thankful that I was able to celebrate her birthday (early) and watch her let butterflies go.   The hardest part of course was saying goodbye. But my grandma was one tough cookie. She hugged me and she hugged Stephen and she said “well you all come back next summer.”

I know that it will take time for me to be able to think of my grandmother and not start tearing up.  As I am writing this entry, my daughter Ruthie walked into the room and said “hey what is with all the tears?”  I know that it is for the best that my grandmother has moved on.  I know that I will miss her and love her forever.  I saw a beautiful butterfly float by my kitchen window as I washed the dishes tonight.  It was so beautiful it made me smile and think of my grandmother. 



They say that there is no bond like the bond between a grandchild and a grandparent. My grandmother was one special person.  Love you grandma!  

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