Race Day

Race Day:

I have sat down to write this blog entry several times.  Each time I wrote a paragraph, re-read it and then erased it and tried to start again.  Some nights I started the computer and loaded my blog entries and then just shut down the computer because I couldn’t put into words my feelings or thoughts.

A few weeks ago I had to take a bone density test.  The medicine that I take lowers my bone density 3-5% each year.  A few days prior I called to schedule this test.  This is how the conversation went.

Me: “hi, I need to schedule a bone density test.”

Very Kind Lady: “referring doctor”

Me: “Dr. “

Very Kind Lady: “so this is reference to?”

Me “breast cancer”

Very Kind Lady: “ok, so have you had chemo yet?”

Me “I have had Chemo, Bilateral mastectomy and radiation”

Very Kind Lady: “are you still menstruating?”

Me: “I had my ovaries removed two weeks ago.”

Very Kind Lady: “hmmmmm…..well”

Me: “I know, I am 33 and I am a mess.”

Very Kind Lady: “Oh hon, you are not a mess you are alive and that is all that matters”

I sat at my desk during my lunch time and almost started to cry.  This woman was absolutely right, I am alive and that is all that matters.

Today, I went to my first Breast Cancer Walk.  Usually in May we do a walk for one of my former students who has juvenile arthritis.  This year though I was out there walking for myself.  It was a very emotional day.  My fellow warrior Elisa had a little setback and was not able to walk today.  Honestly that was really hard on me.  We were diagnosed within a few weeks of one another.  We did Chemo at the same time and had surgeries one month a part.  This whole journey has been hard but having Elisa by my side has helped me.  She is one person that I can text, call or email who I know really gets it.  She really understands my feelings and understands the pain and exhaustion.  Thankfully, my friend Cheryl was there to walk with me.  If she wasn’t there I am not sure I could have done it today.  I made Cheryl walk from booth to booth with me and fill up a bag for Elisa.  Every time a person at a booth said “that is only for survivors,” I had to explain that Elisa was here with us even though she couldn’t physically be here due to doctor’s orders.  Next year Elisa will be there walking with Cheryl and myself. 

 my fellow warrior Elisa with her well deserved medal for being a survivor

Next year, I will be running this race.  I know that I still have two more surgeries to go before I am done for a while. However, it is a goal that I have set for myself.  I do hope that some of my runner friends will join me in this run next year.  Your goal of course will be to get me across the finish line in a decent time. Scott, here is your opportunity to organize a run with all of your siblings.